Random musings from a Wife, Mom, Homeschooler, Student, and Friend

>If you want visual proof of my mental state, come to my house for 7 consecutive days. If things are going well, the house will look about the same as always. If I am stressed–all deals are off. The couch could end up in the kitchen. (Well, we eat on the couch anyway and food and the kitchen go together, right?) The kitchen table might be sawed in half to make a desk. (In my defense, it does make a great desk!) The rest of the furniture might be turned over because the underside is prettier, the shelves function better at a slant. An end table might be moved over a fraction of an inch because symmetry is crucial to habitual furniture re-arranger.

There is something about moving a large piece of furniture all by myself. I push and push and eventually it gives. If it won’t mold itself to my will, I have no problem attacking it with power tools. It is the best kind of therapy–intensely satisfying and cathartic. When things in my life aren’t going the way I had hoped, I at least can change something. Often just a shift of a chair or hanging a picture in a new way is enough to break me out of my funk. I can’t change many of life’s circumstances, but I can change my environment and my attitude about everything.

Work is good for me. I have noticed that the times when I am the most stressed, I have spent too much time with my thoughts and not enough time with my cleaning supplies. This leads to a general pile up, which leads to more useless thinking, which leads to more pile ups. I’ve come to the conclusion that I will never be a great housekeeper. And that is okay, so long as I make sure I’m not growing a salmonella farm. There will always be a thin coating of dust, and a few dishes in the sink. Perfection is the enemy of good enough, and a happy household starts with a happy Mama who embraces her imperfections, knows that the Lord loves her despite her flaws. He doesn’t require me to be perfect, just open to rearranging as the Lord sees fit. Sometimes that rearranging is painless–a slight shift to the right, and sometimes it is a full-scale, bring out the power tools overhaul. It definitely depends on my willingness to mold to God’s direction.

In the words of Brandon Heath’s song, Wait and See, “there is hope for me…He’s not finished with me yet…I’m still wrestling with my fear, but He’s up to something.” Thank the Lord for that!

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