Random musings from a Wife, Mom, Homeschooler, Student, and Friend

>I want to thank You for my precious little girl. I want to thank You for each and every second with her. I want to thank You for entrusting her care to me and my husband. I want to thank You for the days that she is a sunshiney, tooty, healthy, happy girl. And I want to ask You for strength on the days that she is not herself.

I’m scared, God. I really am. Less than a month ago, Emily was doing better than she ever has in her whole life. Less than a week ago, we thought she just had a little neurological hiccup early in August, and we were hoping that it would never happen again. When it did happen again on Wednesday, lasting longer than before with terrible after-effects, fear struck my heart. I did and said terrible things in my panic. Please find a way to let that parking attendant know that I am sorry. He was off duty when I left the emergency room with Emily, so I could not apologize again. I am so sorry that I was not the person I should have been during that crisis.

Lord, You know my middle name is Drama, but please help Emily’s doctors to be able to speak to me and Jason in a way that gives us the information we need while relieving our minds. Please also whisper in their ears that they may have seen this hundreds of times, Lord, but we have never experienced this. Please remind them that Emily is our precious baby, and seeing her unresponsive like that and later seeing her react like a caged, wild animal–well, it is too much for this Mama to handle without help.

Thank you, Lord. I know Your grace is sufficient.


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